here i go again writing a new junk. *sigh* dunno. feelin' kinda emo right now. maybe because of what's happenin' right now. i'm telling you something i've been keeping this for the past few days.. actually.. just about 2 days ago.. i've got this problem [maybe. i don't know what to call it]. just this year.. i've known a girl in the internet.. we became sort of friends.. yeah.. i treated her as a friend. as a very good friend.. this girl also has a friend.. since we've known each other in friendster, we kept doing PHOTO COMMENTS on each other.. i saw someone's name that kept on repeating.. i noticed she almost commented on every photo.. until one day i decided to add her up.. since i didn't know her last name, i messaged her and asked if she could actually add me up because seriously, i really wanted to make friends with her. and yes, we became friends.. i treated her as a good friend too..

we've been chatting about so many things.. actually i've been telling them about so many things as if we have seen each other already and as if we've been friends for so long. so many things i have shared, so many thoughts i've opened, so many laughters and tears i've opened up. i just guess.. i really feel so happy with them..

but not until now. [maybe]. i don't understand.. maybe they're just busy or what,. i don't know. or maybe they're just too far away from me. but i really feel like they're getting rid of me or something. i don't know. maybe they just don't find it practical talking to someone too far away. i just feel so sad about it. it's CHRISTMAS you know, and loosing them feels like i'm gonna have a sad christmas.

i really love them both, i really appreciate their comfort everytime i share something to cry about to them. i thank the Lord for having them and i hope what i'm feeling now is not really true. i don't want to lose them today so much more tomorrow but i think i just did. i feel like crying right now.

i received a text from abee [she's the second one i added, IKAY's the first] on thursday morning [December 18, 2008] it said:
i hate everyone..



including YOU!

i don't know what the text message means.. i don't know why she hates me.. or maybe i do.. *sigh* [almost crying].. ugh! i don't want to think about it if the reason's.. ugh! i'll not mention anything.. anyway, *sigh* i just feel sad.. i texted her back with "why?" because i'm really bothered. i kept on asking everyone i knew who knew her and so i asked also IKAY about it. she said she didn't receive that message so i felt like "the earth is falling on me", sakin lang galit si ABEE. i feel so unsure, helpless, i don't know.. it was yesterday.. abee was online on my Yahoo! Messenger.. i messaged her.. but she did not respond.. there was JAMES.. [another one of IKAY's friends that i also befriended].. i asked him if ABEE's OL on his messenger list on he said.. yes.. i asked him if abee did mention anything about HATING me.. but he said no.. he said, there was none.. and he said "antagal na namin  di nag uusap." good thing, james was good to me.. he said i should be thinking positive about how the things are going.. "time heals all".. that's what he said to me.. that was a god advice. maybe abee really needs time.. i might really have hurt her.  if i've really HURT her, i hope an apology is enough.  i really do am SORRY








hi beegeyl! *sigh* di ko lam kung ano dapat ang mga sasabihin ko. ano.. SORRY pala kung ano mang kasalanan ko at HATE mo ako ngayun. sorry sa mga nagawa ko.. kung may nasabi man ako na nasaktan kita oh ano.. kung tungkol man ito kanino oh sa ano.. sana maging malinaw ang lahat.. ayoko na hindi mo ako kinakausap kasi nasasaktan ako.. tama si james, "time heals all".. time nga siguro ang kailangan mo bago mo ako makausap at sabihin kung ano talaga ang problema.. sana di yun gaano matagal. namimiss na kita.. mahal naman kita.. meh nagawa lang siguro akong mali.. SORRY kung nasaktan kita.. ayoko tong mga nangyayaring to.. ayoko ng nasasaktan kita.. pero nagawa ko na ata. sorry.. sana tanggapin mo sorry ko. baka magalit ka sakin dahil sa post na ito.. sorry na rin. OA nga siguro ako. na appreciate ko talaga nung kinausap mo ako tungkol sa daddy ko. nung nagshare tayo ng feelings.. naiyak ako nun.. pero masaya ako kaseh kinomfort mo ako.. i thank the Lord for having you.. sorry if i've done something wrong.. merry christmas abee! sana, friends na ulit tayo... before mag pasko. i love you.


[sana mabasa niyo 'to]

it has been a while since i last listened to my playlist. i feel quite relieved.after days, weeks, months of hardwork i finally found time to listen and relax. i really missed listenin' to my favorite songs. i really looove listenin' to every genre i have on my playlist. but what i really appreciate the most is the one under my folder "Reggae". yeah. call me a red-yellow-green freak but i looove reggae music. party people.   after days of making homeworks, studying, soap making, caustic soda invasion, and everything.. i really found relief in listenin' to music. i'm quite a music freak maybe but i'm not really into the latest but i sure looove singing and listening.

for the past few days i've been imagining myself in a cozy cottage with blue+green+red+yellow lights and reggae, jazz, alternative music playin'.. woooh! that would be a great night for me. and a glass of a really cold wine [hahaha. ambisyosa]..ok fine! cge.. chuckie nalang para di kaayu ambisyosa.   nwei, let's get it straight... maybe i was just craving for a relaxation and all. hahai.. kapuie man jud diay magskwela noh? pero lingaw baya nga challenging. awh. charmooooos! hahahaha.

hahai. bigla ko nawad-an ug gana ug tiwas ani nga blog. naa man gud koi nadawat na message sa akong phone. pilosopo kaayu pagkatubag! p*st*! awh.. gisapot na nuon ko. makabwisit man gud. dili mag huna2 bah. nagpaila lang jud na tapulan! ... sus! ambot. galagot na nuon ko. makadaut ug mood uie! leche!